Gender roles, flying ants and new roads

We now have just a few days left in Aru before we set off back home to the UK. It has been good to be back and to deepen our friendships here.

As ever, being here is a mixture of good and bad. The relaxed lifestyle is very enjoyable. People have been even more friendly and welcoming this time round. There is something about coming back which they think “OK, they are really interested in us”. We have had more people dropping round to see us, and felt more comfortable about dropping in on others ourselves. If you know someone, and they are outside (as they often are), you never walk past their home without stopping for at least a few minutes. So, we have had many more conversations about life here compared to life in the UK. We wanted to get a better understanding of the respective gender roles and so have asked a few of the people we trust.

It appears that, not surprisingly, the women do the work. In practice this means:

·       they get the hot drink in the morning (people here do not have breakfast, just a hot, sweet, drink of tea).

·       get the children ready for school,

·       work the land (nearly everyone has some land they are growing their crops on, even if they have full-time employment. If they do not have employment this may be all they have),

·       prepare the lunch time meal (sometimes yesterday’s evening meal re-heated)

·       prepare the evening meal

·       fetch the water (using large, 20litres plastic jerry cans which are carried on the head)

·       do the washing.

However, it is usual that the women will be helped in these tasks by their children and/or by other young people they have living in their household. This latter group may be people who are in some slight way related, but they might not be. In return for helping in the household they will have food and housing and possibly their school fees paid for. Children of both genders help, each having a set of allotted tasks. We have also been told that women want to have large families so as to make sure that there are people to look after them when they get old.

In the towns, there is some paid work so both men and women might have jobs. In this situation, it seems that it’s still usual for the women to do all the jobs at home (helped by others as described before).

Apparently the men in rural areas have a leisurely life. During the day they go out and meet with other men, stand around and then come home to eat and be looked after by the women. In rural areas they do not help at all in the home, though they probably do work on the land. To do work in the home would be seen as disrespecting the women, implying they are useless. However, we have seen a slightly different model in the diocese. For example, men have helped clear plates and helped out when there is a ‘feast’. We have also been told that these men help the women when the women are too busy, but this seems to be done behind closed doors as some would think it wrong.

Much of this comes from the idea that, once married, the man ‘owns’ the wife. This is why they have the bride-price (one area pays 3 cows and 7 goats). This is to pay the family for the loss of the woman, and shows that the woman is respected. Women we have spoken to about this think it is incredible that we do not have this in the UK; that not having the bride-price means women cannot be respected. It is also clear that both men and women want to be married. Neither wants to be single.

Obviously we observed a lot that was different for us when we came last year. This time things have been much more familiar. However, the evening of the ‘flying ants’ was not fun. When it rains the termites fly. They are regarded as a great delicacy by the Congolese who simply take off the wings and eat them – apparently most of the world eats insects and they are a great source of protein. A couple of weeks ago there was a storm after dark. We had just settled to our usual evening occupation of playing a game we have brought with us (there is nothing to do here after dark) when we started being hit by a couple of flying ants. These are quite large, pretty hopeless fliers with little directional control. They are easy to swat but as soon as we had got rid of these two another few seemed to arrive. Despite the windows being shut we had at least 15 – 20 of the things flying around (and into) us at any one time – after a while they fall to the ground, their wings come off and the resulting grub mooches about for a while until Pete stamps on it! Loose fitting clothes were a risk as they might fall into them and down your back (or your cleavage if you are Gill!). After about 45 mins we retreated and went to bed early, and the security of the mosquito net. In the morning we found that they seemed to have been hatching from inside a window as there was quite a graveyard.

Another thing we have seen this time is how you make a road. For various reasons an existing ‘road’ in the diocesan area is being moved. This was done by simply ploughing up a new area, blocking the old road and making it clear this was now the way to go. The actual road was indicated by bits of branch etc. Within days the new road had been compacted into a clear road (by feet, motos, bikes and the very occasional car). It is already, after two weeks, almost looking as if it has been there for ever.

Back to the UK soon. Yes, once again we will miss being here but it will also be good to be home!

Back to Congo

Back, by popular demand!

When we told people we were coming back to Aru several people asked if we would start our blog again. Given that we are only here one month we weren’t sure we would, but getting here has been something of a story in itself!

All went well with getting to Heathrow – we avoided the M1 being closed after an accident – and the flight to Entebbe (Uganda) was very punctual. However, once in Entebbe we needed Ugandan shillings (there is no way of getting cash in DRC and it is not possible to get Ugandan currency in UK) so we went to the Barclays cash machine in Entebbe – it was “Unavailable at this time”. So we went, a little apprehensively, to the Stanbick cash machine that had not given us money on our last visit. All was well and we got the cash.

This time we were getting from Entebbe to Arua (NW Uganda, near the border and crossing point for Aru) by internal flight. This was our first flight in a small, 15 seater, plane. We have had tales of people without actual tickets not getting on if the flight is full, we had an email reservation only. We have also had tales of bags not getting on if the small space for baggage is full – the emails were very clear that, if there was not space for all the bags they would follow on a later flight (the flights are every other day…).. So, as the day progressed thoughts begin and grow of:

·       “Is our hand baggage too big?”,

·       “What happens if our bags are delayed?” (we cannot go back to Arua to collect them once in Aru as we don’t have multi-entry visas).

It wasn’t encouraging when we got to check in that there were 8 people ahead of us and it looked as if the flight would be full, would we get on at all? Suffice it to say that, of course, we (and our bags) got on and there were no problems. The flight was full but enjoyable.

We were met at Arua, as arranged, by Abubaker, our driver. He took us to the border and our passports were stamped as exiting Uganda. The car to pick us up arrived, with people we knew well from our last visit, all that remained to do was to get our DRC visa….

On our last visit we had got our visas in the UK. This had required a “Letter of invitation”, duly stamped by DRC immigration. Despite strenous efforts this had not been possible this time. However, we know many people have got visas at the border so we did not anticipate difficulties.

DRC visas are expensive. Visas are paid for in dollars and we had sufficient dollars for 2 x 1mth visas. However, the immigration officer refused to give us visas for one month and said we had to buy 6 month visas. This was, he said, because we had previously had visas for 6 months so it was not possible to get one for just one month. This was more dollars than we had – the total cost would be $800 instead of $366.

So, what do we do? Turn back, having come a mighty long way? There were various phone calls to others in the diocese but to no avail. He insisted this was the way it was and he was not going to give us a visa for one month.

We knew we had some dollars for the journey back, and some spare, so checked how much we had. Because some costs in Entebbe had been less than expected it turned out that we had exactly the required total of $800. The question then was did we want to pay it?

Suffice it say we paid and got our six month visa.

So, we got to the house we stayed in last time, and had a wonderful welcome from various friends we had made. Priscille (our cook from last time) was there and was busy preparing a meal. All our things we had stored at Francesca’s were brought over and we could relax and enjoy ourselves.

The house and environs have changed though. A new building is rapidly in the garden – extra bedrooms; there are now additional beds in the rooms we used as a sort of study and the room we used as a kitchen – so the hall became our ‘kitchen’ (the Bishop didn’t like this so arranged for the bed to be removed, the kitchen has returned to being a kitchen and the hall to being a hall); the bathroom has been tiled, the loo repaired so it fills up consistently well, the sink now drains outside and not onto the floor and the tap and shower have been connected to use water from the large rainwater tank that fills the loo. However, given that there was a dead bat in the tank last year we are not using this water for washing…

Thanks for your interest in our escapades – but we’re actually hoping that the rest of the month will be less eventful!